Saying goodbye in any fashion is never easy. If its a see you soon, see you around or we'll catch up soon. Words and the context bear a heavy load. How we say them, when we say them, the time of day and year, and the light that leaves us feeling dark. It's never really as easy as goodbye is it. It carry's a weight of time, for a day or days, or a life parting ways.
There's a pain that comes with all of it, even if its in the best of situations, which it never is even if it is. It's a loss for words, a shameful shared gaze, and hug that doesn't last long enough and doesn't do justice for how sorry you are. Thinking of better days is the salt to a wound that may never close. You try not to think of the better times, the birthdays, holidays, the tears when tragedy strikes and bad news comes from a doctor. You don't want to think about how you both leaned on each other when times we tough. Giving up, letting go, and turning your back are how you feel in shame even if its not true. Like the drawn out pull of a trigger at a stand still. It's not easy, will not be pleasant, and a life time of guilt hangs on a heavy finger. When the last embrace ends, and the held hands bitterly unclasp you step back in a cold breeze. But the day ends, the people part ways, and each step away hurt more than the last for each and for different reason. The ground below you may feel like its cracking from the weight on your heart and mind. Please don't sink, please don't bury yourself, please don't think there's no end.
All you can sometimes say is, I'm Sorry. Its not going to mean what it should, tell someone how much it hurts, how much you wish this didnt happen, how they were always right and it was your fault, or how you wish you could take back all the things you said that made someones night never end. Words you say that mean nothing when youve hurt someone so much. Someone you say you care about, even if you really do they dont see it that way, but after what you've done why should they.
In a time where words tend to mean so little, and in few cases mean so much, remember what you said, when you said it.